Amazing post from my personal slave molon_labe on being a “Lucky slave”.. or not!
X-posted (with permission of course) from his fetlife:
“Frequently when I post pics about kinky things I have done, or posts detailing my various kinky shenanigans, I get the response “you’re so lucky.”
When I talk about the relationship I have with Mistress Jadis, people tell me I’m lucky to have found her.
I know what they mean (or what most of them mean.) It’s a turn of phrase that is applied to countless circumstances where good fortune or anything pleasant is on display. It doesn’t actually imply that luck is the driving force in the situation. (Though I would still rather it weren’t repeated to the degree that it is.)
At times, however, it is used in such a way as to imply that something has not been earned. Too often it is combined with a disparaging look or a bitter tone.
And that bothers me.
I came across a wonderful example of this in a photo (http://cybilltroy.tumblr.com/post/54373659749/yes-m… posted by Cybil Troy, who really impressed me with her response.
When one of her slaves was described as a “lucky fuck” she took issue with the careless or malicious remark.
“Yes. My slaves are just ‘lucky’, they aren’t hardworking, or devoted, or tirelessly motivated… They’re just ‘lucky’.”
Aside from the fact that she was standing up for someone who adores her (even though I can more than take care of myself, I still love it when my Mistress protects me) I loved the fact that she was taking down the “lucky fuck” myth with such ruthlessness.
It spoke to the many times I’ve heard people dismiss the dynamic that Mistress Jadis and I have built over the years as being lucky.
For the record…
Mistress Jadis did not allow me into her private vanilla life because she pulled my name out of a hat. I wasn’t drafted into service as her personal slave. I was chosen. I was chosen because in countless times and in countless ways I have demonstrated that I can be a trusted and valuable addition to her life.
I didn’t get to the point where I was asked if I would assist Mistress Jadis in her recent photoshoot by winning some kind of sub lottery. I got there because we have played together more times than either of us can count, and I could help her display her unique style of domination better than some random guy who has met her once if at all.
Mistress Jadis doesn’t treasure me because I have developed some kind of domme mind meld. I’m not the Mistress Whisperer. I didn’t trick her into taking me into her world. I’ve just shown more devotion than you have. (And I’ve probably bled more at her hands too.)
If you’re not willing to make her life easier by driving her to the fruit market to pick up supplies so she can make herself fresh squeezed juice in the mornings (she will even make you some if you’re there) then you aren’t unlucky. You just haven’t earned the good sub cred that I have.
If you’re not willing to help her clean up the dungeon, then you aren’t unlucky. You just haven’t demonstrated a desire to fulfill her needs rather than your own. (And while we’re on the subject, offering to lick her entire shoe collection clean IS NOT ACTUALLY HELPING HER. I’m talking about mopping the sling room after she’s fucked another guy with a strap on, not indulging your own fetishes.)
If you have just wandered by and met or played with her once and she hasn’t offered to take you as her slave, then you aren’t unlucky. You just haven’t put in the years of faithful and devoted (and largely unglamourous) service that I have.
It’s not even a matter of earning the proud status of personal slave. You can’t just keep putting “good subbie” tokens into the Mistress vending machine until a collar comes out. You don’t serve in order to buy your way in or put her in your debt. You do it because it speaks to something inside of you. You do it with sincerity, simplicity, and devotion. Dommes who are worth serving tend to have a pretty effective bullshit meter. They will know when you’re in it for the wrong reasons, and when you’re in it for the right reasons.
To be sure, I am lucky. Plenty of things could have happened differently that could have led me down a very different path. But of the things that brought me to where I am, it’s things like devotion, care, humility, and love that did most of the work. Luck is way down the list.
I haven’t cracked the domme code. There’s no way to cheat your way into a domme’s inner sanctum. You get there, as Cybil Troy says, by being hardworking, devoted, and tirelessly motivated rather than being lucky. It’s not always fun, and it’s not often as glamourous or even kinky as it seems in kink porn.
But it is most certainly worth it.”